What We Don't Know: Why You Should Give Strangers a Chance

Multiple studies have shown that we judge others within the first millisecond to the first 3 seconds that we see them. Learning how to overcome this could be the key to a personal revolution.

Image from tinybuddha.com

When I see a person, I know the science behind our interaction. I recognize that the first three seconds I see someone, I have sized them up. When I do this, I do it consciously-- and then I look for our common humanity, me and this stranger. I do this because that first three seconds is dangerous. It draws a thick line between me and others. It encourages narcissism and puts me on an imaginary pedestal above everyone else.

"Think about each unwarranted judgment of someone you don't even know as a line drawn between you and them. If you could actually see a physical representation of every line you've drawn with other humans, it would look like a deep dark cocoon around you. "

I see a man-- underweight, Caucasian, bad teeth, messy hair, and raggedy clothes walking towards my bus stop. I think meth head. And then, in a split second, I remember that he is a human. That he may be better or more knowledgeable or more talented than me at something, and that there is probably something interesting about him, and what I assumed about him might not even be true. I smile at him, and when he smiles back, I realize that none of that matters anyway. He's just a dude, and I don't know him. Of course, the same thing happens again, almost immediately. I see a pretty girl in her early twenties taking a selfie. I think, superficial college girl who probably calls herself an influencer. But then, I do what I need to do—I think of her as a human being, born into a time of instant gratification and technological dependence where it's all about the image. I think about some 40-year old judging me while I sat in front of MTV for hours back in the day. I laugh to myself, because I realize that my Beavis and Butthead may be her Kylie Jenner.

My goal is to stop having these thoughts—but I am not sure if that's possible. So for now, I just need to keep reminding myself that these are just thoughts—like a puff of smoke, or an error left over on your PC after updating your operating system. I just click "okay" and let that fucking box disappear. I don't need it. Neither do you. Think about each unwarranted judgment of someone you don't even know as a line drawn between you and them. If you could actually see a physical representation of every line you've drawn with other humans, it would look like a deep dark cocoon around you. That's what judgments do, they wall us in.

We are capable of so much love! But all of these things have taught us to draw those lines—the people we surround ourselves with, society, advertising, movies, music, politics. The thing is, the government and corporations don't want us to all get along. Think about it—there is strength in numbers—government officials fear revolution and new thought. If we aren't judging others and trying to be better than everyone else, maybe we won't buy the latest $1000 smart phone to show off. Maybe we won't be spending billions of dollars on diet pills that don't work, because we won't feel that judgment, and we might choose healthy ways of living instead. Maybe we won't even go to school to get a job that pays six figures, because we won't feel so driven to show our self worth through material things. The very act of non-judging is a revolution in and of itself. It has the power to change you and to change your worldview, and the best thing? It's contagious.